How to Find Your Resolution Groove

The last few days of the year are a magical time.

It’s an occasion for us to reflect on the year behind us and look ahead to another 365 days full of possibility.

While we know logically that rolling into a new calendar year doesn’t actually change anything except the four digits that we’ll be writing for the next 52 weeks, the act of cracking open a new planner or calendar can make us feel truly limitless — as if we are being given a clean slate.

It’s only natural, then, that we would want to capitalize on the spirit of the season and set the tone for a fresh start.

For many of us, our first instinct is to set new year’s resolutions — a well-intentioned list of plans and goals that we hope will lay the foundation for a productive and happy year.

And that’s where I lose interest.  Because I can’t stand new years resolutions.

Eat Healthy and Become a Movie Star

Every year growing up, my family would sit around the table after dinner in late December and go around the table taking turns to share our resolutions for the new year.

My childhood resolutions ranged from the mundane (eat more veggies…still working on that one!) to the outlandish (be in a Harry Potter movie). No matter how bland or bold they were, I made resolutions without fail every year…and promptly forgot about them a few weeks later.

The whole exercise feel pretty darn futile, and soured my relationship with resolutions pretty early on in life.

But as I got older, I began to realize that it often isn’t really about the actual resolutions that we set, but what they represent.

I Wish I Was a Little Bit Taller, I Wish I Was a Baller

As famed lyricist Skee-Lo so ‘artfully’ articulated in his 90’s rap anthem I Wish, we all yearn to be a better version of ourselves.

For many of us, new years resolutions are a way of connecting to that vision of a ‘better’ life and a ‘better’ self.

Part of the reason that new years resolutions have the power to make us feel so limitless is that — for those magical few days in December and early January — they allow us to believe that the successful, healthy, happy version of ourselves that we yearn to be on a daily basis is finally within reach. That the life we have been waiting for is just around the bend, waiting for us to arrive.

So we begin plotting a list of steps that we believe will allow us to bridge the gap between our present reality, and the glorious future that awaits us.

But there is a profound disconnect that keeps so many of us from making good on our resolutions:

Our resolutions end up being a mish-mash of ‘hows’ when what we really need to identify is our ‘why’.

In my experience, the ‘how’ tends to reveal itself along the way, but it is the why — that proverbial north star — that we need to first identify. After all, you can’t plan your route until you know your destination.

So this year, I want to share with you two of my alternatives to new years resolutions that can help lift you out of the minutia of the daily grind and more deeply connected to your purpose:

Option #1 – Write Your ‘I Am’ Statements

This is a new approach that I’m going to be testing out this year. Since I’ve always found traditional goal-setting to be quite limiting and uninspired, this year I am going to indulge in some high-level intention-setting with my ‘I am’ statements.

Goals must never be from your ego, but problems that cry for a solution – Robert H. Schuller

Here’s how it works:

This approach is based on the belief that in order to manifest the version of ourselves that we yearn for, we need to do a little bit of ‘faking it ’til we make it’.

Instead of writing a list of what you will become, put pen to paper and claim those titles, names, and labels today. For example:

‘I will be bold in the way I express myself in 2014’ becomes ‘I am bold, and I am exercising that boldness in my words and actions’

‘I will be more creative in the new year’ becomes ‘I am a creative person, and I am finding new outlets for that creativity every day’

Here’s why I love it:

The simple act of owning attributes and qualities that we seek now can sometimes give us the push that we need to believe that we have the capability to live out our greatest aspirations.

Option #2 – Keep a ‘Scheming & Plotting’ Journal

I did this for the first time last year, and I cannot wait to sit down and do it again for 2014!

Here’s how it works:

Pull out a brand-new notebook or journal. This is actually pretty important, because for this to work, this notebook needs to have one sole purpose in life: to be a home for what my dear friend Mel calls your ‘big hairy audacious goals’.

It will be a place for dreaming and scheming — more for ideation than for execution. And in order for this to happen, it needs to be free of extraneous clutter and notes from the daily grind — so whether you spend $2 or $20, go out and pick up a fresh new book full of possibilities.

On the first page, write down the current date and a few lines about what your life looks like these days. This can include what you do for work, the status of your health, some information about your relationships, or details on where you live — whatever you need to write in order to give yourself context when you look back at this list a year from now.

Once you flip over to the next page, the sky is truly the limit. Grab a pen and let the dreaming begin! Allow your deepest desires to move the pen across the paper and do not censor yourself. No matter how embarrassed/crazy/vulnerable/egotistical it makes you feel, just keep writing your biggest, juiciest, most beloved goals and dreams for the next year until you’ve got them all down on paper.

Now it’s time to close the book until this time next year.

You might occasionally want to open it to record a new ‘big hairy audacious goal’ makes its way into your heart and mind during the year, but it is imperative that you do not read what you’ve written over the next 12 months.

The reason for that is simple: to give yourself the freedom to express your goals, without feeling bound to them throughout the year.

In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed – Sid Caesar

At the end of the year, read what you wrote back in January and make some notes about how you feel now about those goals — did you end up pursuing them? do they still feel relevant?

Here’s why I love it:

This is meant to be an exercise in the outlandish and impractical. It is more about release than planning. It’s all about giving yourself permission to indulge in that spirit of the season and dream fearlessly.

5 Tweeters & Bloggers to Help You Along

Finally, to help you along on your journey to find your ‘why’ and connect to your purpose, here five wonderful individuals that will flood your feed with all the inspiration you need to hold on to this new year energy all year long:

– Maxie McCoy, who will encourage you to be brave and live boldly

– Erica Diamond, who will give you the kick in the behind that you need to move forward

– Gabrielle Bernstein, who will teach you to see health as a celebration of life

– Kate Durie, who will inspire you to live in the present

– Nisha Moodley, who will help you find and embrace freedom

Your turn: If you give any of these a try, please let me know what you think of them in the comments! I’ll be posting an update in a few weeks with my ‘I Am’ statements, so stay tuned for that, as well!

Happy new year, folks xx